Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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