I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
