New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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