I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Randomize
