I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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