dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize