Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize