I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
