If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
this just has baby written all over it
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize