New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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