he thought i was a dude.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
