Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize