I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You took a bar mat shot.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
