i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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