is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
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