guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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