God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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