its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
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