just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
