i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just cut my nipple shaving
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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