So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
