Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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