Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
