So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
