when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
