is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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