The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
