you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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