TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots