If i come over, it means nothing
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
