i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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