yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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