it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
