I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
