Pants 0. Shit 1.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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