my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
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