i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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