can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
