College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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