Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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