Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize