Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
