forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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