I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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