You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
