just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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