4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Boobs are out for the taking
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
