Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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