On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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