guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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