Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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