All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize