i can't believe i had my finger in that
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
