So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize