Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
