That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Randomize