I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
