I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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