He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Well I just put wine in my tea
Someone came in the potted fern
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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