just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
time to smoke my breakfast
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
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