I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
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