The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
