i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Randomize
